Ashley and Lucas-DEAR LUCAS

Dear Lucas , 

I still miss your sweet touch

The moment I left Dysomia, I felt a lightness in my heart 

I couldn't wait for a fresh start

But over time, the lightness turned to hollowness 

Soon I became too dark to live in the brightness 

The days remind me of your light 

And how your eyes shined so bright 

At night I'm singing songs about you 

Wishing so hard I was with you 

I look up to the skies and miss the warmth of your arms around me 

But when I look around all that's left is me and my company 

It's nothing you did or said 

It's that I don't have any more tears to shed 

With all the failures I've had with people 

I thought this one wasn't so feeble 

But I'm so afraid of getting heartbroken 

That I push away everything that is golden 

 This independence of mine is a boon and a bane

Sometimes it's my pride and sometimes it's my shame 

The wild spirit I carry will die out soon enough 

But then I hope I'll be left with trust 

Because trust is a permanent thing 

While wildness is like a summer fling 

I know I love you, but I can't resist this urge 

To look for the place where the sky and water merge 

And I know you would love to live a stable life with your lover 

So I'm sorry that I can't be yours forever 

Every day seems incomplete 

The night comes with a moral retreat 

And all I have been left is with memories 

Of the love that was shared between you and me 

I thought I'd love travelling alone 

But it's not easy travelling alone into a world so unknown 

You were my moral support and my rock 

But now my boat doesn't have any dock 

Now I can't take the decision I made, back 

But I'm not even sure if I want to do that 

I love you but I also can't ignore my spirit calling 

Otherwise it'll just be another toxic relationship falling 

Don't know what I feel anymore 

Everything around me is just blur 

I just sit during the day and do chores with half a heart 

Didn't know being away from someone could be so hard 

I sometimes wonder, what you do on That island 

Are enjoying the comfortable silence 

Do you miss me like I miss you ? 

Do you sit around and wonder what i do ?

Is it love that I can't get right ?

The answers are probably hidden in plain sight

But my complex eyes can't figure that out 

I just miss you and you're all I can think about

I would go back every time, to the day I met you 

That day, The meaning of peace i understood 

Part of me thinks I made the right decision 

But part of me hates every lonely second 

I look at the blue sea and all I can see are your ocean eyes 

I close my eyes and all I can see is your face with a smile 

I have never felt so troubled 

Without you all my thoughts overlap 

When I was with you, I let go of my ghosts 

I can't get rid of m cuz It's my only friend and my only foe 

So all I’m left to do is miss you and your love 

Because I let go off the one person I couldn’t get enough of 

             

                                          Love 

                                             X 

                                     The Freak